To Members of the Philadelphia Coffee House Scene,
I bid you good day and “HELLO”. My NAME, I fear, is a name of relative
importance. It brings with it a certain level of GRAVITAS. I, therefore
hesitate to tell you my name. It is a TITLE, which I subsequently must
live up to. Certain expectations will be made for me. Expectations of
SUCCESS and GRANDEUR, which I fear will not be possible. I do not doubt
my talent. I simply have a rational understanding of Common Sense that
no one could live up to these expectations. However, I am truly
CONFIDENT in my own ABILITIES. Believe me when I say that I am an
How impressive am I?
Well, it would not be incorrect for me to tell you that my legacy has developed into a series of legends and myths about my life; all of which relate to themes of SUCCESS and INNOVATION. In my wisdom, I learned how to benefit from these legends without having to publicly deny them. Why would I desire to dispel my "demi-God" status? It gave me an aura of invincibility. This made me more successful in my different business, social, or political projects since I had the image of a man without any equal. Sometimes it caused REVERENCE, but often it caused JEALOUSY amongst my contemporaries. Needless to say that, when I died, some were sad, some were relieved, and some – well they probably did not care...
And yes, I did, DIE. Though it was after a good long life. I enjoyed witnessing how my LEGEND flourished after my death. I am PLEASED to see that my accomplishments have been imitated and improved on to further ADVANCE individual and collective success throughout the years. It has created an inflated my already immense arrogance! An even greater reason for the growth of my EGO can be sighted in the area now known as "OLD CITY" Philadelphia – an area that I had known simply as Philadelphia. You see, it would appear that I am the NAMESAKE of every other coffee shop, restaurant, street, bridge, and building. (Note: it is NOT ARROGANCE if it is the TRUTH…)
My name is appearing far more often in the world of popular CULTURE. Music and entertainment often mention me in reference to, well… EVERYTHING. That is what happens when my FACE is on the SYMBOL of "CAPITALISM" and "POWER", the one-hundred-dollar bill. Who knew that being a JACK-OF-ALL-TRADES could propel one to such a level of prestige? This is precisely why I choose to grace you with my presence after all of these years.
You see, I have decided that 2017 would be a good time to plunge back into the realm of the living. This world is an exciting place! There are various forms of communication and technology that overwhelm all who were born before 1990. Since I died in 1790, I will NOT, needless to say, spend too much time attempting to catch up with technology. There is far too much new technology for me to try to understand.
(Note: it took 30 more years after I died for someone to create the bicycle… so I'm essentially "caveman" status.)
Instead, I have decided to focus my thoughts and writings within the themes of CULTURE and SOCIETY. I have always had a keen sense of people and I do find my sharp witticisms are most effective within well-focused niches of society. Most specifically, YOURS.
Yes YOU, the coffee shop dwellers; the artisans; the students; the young professionals. You are free spirits and free thinkers. I sense that we are not so different. Therefore, I consider it my DUTY to ENTERTAIN and PROVOKE THOUGHT in a in a practical and engaging manner in order to IMPROVE your outlook, even if only slightly. Topics of discussion shall vary but shall always revolve around people and SOCIETY. I do hope that you appreciate my RHETORIC for what it is, the thoughtful musings of a very, very, old soul who is caught in the body of a very energetic young man.
I will leave this letter with this quick description of my CHARACTER: I am COURTEOUS and AFFABLE, unless I am provoked. I am a lover of all GOOD PEOPLE and a true friend to VIRTUE. I am HANDSOME and usually quite WITTY; and therefore struggle with HUMILITY. However, I am open to acknowledgement of my flaws, whatever they be. I shall look to you, as my friends, to ensure that I do not make too much of a fool of myself, since I intend to do the same to you as a whole. With this introduction, I wish for you a good day and good learning! Until next time…
Your Best Friend,
Philly Official Guide